grunt [gruhnt] –verb (used without object)
1. to utter the deep, guttural sound characteristic of a hog.
She is not only the current Queen of Tennis but also the Grand Master of Grunting: Maria Sharapova. Her grunting is so loud, persistent and annoying that, whenever I watch her play tennis, I turn the sound off on my television. One newspaper recorded her grunts at over 100 decibels, equal to the whine of a snowmobile. Uggh.
Why all the grunting? Is Maria weak? Out of shape? After all, the number one reason you grunt is because the task is greater than your ability to complete it - like lifting a heavy weight, or pushing your car out of the way. Grunting almost always means you're at the very limit of your physical ability.
No, I doubt Maria Sharapova is out of shape. She grunts for other reasons perhaps the same reasons you hear a lot of equally annoying grunting in gyms all over the world (in fact, one gym, Planet Fitness, recently instituted a "no grunt" policy). People look at you, talk about you, may even be impressed by you. Grunting makes a statement: "I'm really working here people, so, pay attention!"
Maria Sharapova's grunts are loud and obvious and beg you to pay attention. But, the kind you need to be concerned about are soft and barely recognizable. Not a guttural, hog style, weight-heaving, gym kind of grunt. No. It's an anemic sort of grunt. When you get up from a chair or sofa, and a barley audible, "Ughh!" slips past your lips, or you pick up your two year old son and hear, "uhh" almost in a whisper, those are grunts deserving of your attention.
When you catch yourself uttering one of these soft, whispery grunts during your daily routine, it means you're weak. And, I know what you're thinking. "Nahh...it's nothing. It's just a minor, little thing. You're exaggerating." But, think about it. Motion that's easy is grunt free. Movements that your muscles have mastery over are grunt-free. When you are approaching your physical limits, you grunt and when the grunting occurs, at the age of 40, or 45, or 50, with something as simple as tying your shoes, you're older than your years reveal.
I should know. I once was a regular anemic grunter. In fact, it was so engrained, so normal, and usual, I didn't even notice it until one day a friend casually said, as I got out of the car, "That's a marker." I said, "What? What do you mean by that?" He replied, "The grunting. It's a marker. Old guys grunt. It's a marker."
Old guys grunt. I was one of those guys. An old guy. That's all it took. I might be getting older but I'm not ready to be old.
Pay attention to how many times a day an anemic, soft, grunt slips past your lips. Can you say your life is really grunt-free? Maybe there's a little Maria in you?
Doug Kelsey
PS - Strength training inoculates you from the grunts. Check our audio CD to discover some the myths surrounding strength training and how to get started on the right path.
